Why Are Men Attracted to Dominant Women?

Dominant Women

In this article, “Why are men attracted to Dominant Women” I am going to discuss MY thoughts as to why men are attracted to dominant women. I am not referring to wrestlers or strong women but the personality element of Domination.

All women are different through and through, however you men may beg to differ…perhaps a few scorned ones!

Generally speaking the types of women that exist are Submissive, Dominant and the Self Sufficient aka. I Don’t Give a Fuck. Characteristics may prevail from each type however they primarily will favor one type.

The reason you have found yourself on my site and reading this blog post, already demonstrates that you too are intrigued or perhaps thrilled by these women. So I hope I nail this on the head! Here it is…

“ Real relationships in real life with overly dominant women do not work! “

Alpha Female & Alpha Male = Failure

Mr. Nice Guy & Dominant Female = Misery and Monogamy

Now, I am not saying that this is entirely the case as every relationship is different but you get what I mean. You see dominant females are the female equivalent to needy alpha males who set the boundaries in life. A real and true dominant person in real life you see will often have a tendency to be bossy and know how to make life hell! Once in a relationship these women tend to start issuing orders, standards and the rules she expects you her man to follow. And boy, if these rules are not attained to does she get pissed!

The result of failure to follow these is DRAMA and we all know how much you guys love that, NOT! This sometimes resorts in the monogamy Mr. Nice Guy route of ”anything for an easy life”. Dominants will tend to be high- drama, high maintenance and inflict high stress levels on you!

By now, I have probably put you off dominants forever however they do have some positive traits.

Dominant Women are often,

Very Smart

What manipulators aren’t?


Strong people always allure sexual appeal, even the most unattractive women!


It’s nature, because it’s something you want but can’t always have for your own sanity reasons!

So, what I am saying is that the men that often fall for fun, feminine Dominants do so only to get in return drama and rules. Which ultimately ends in the man running away as far as he bloody well can!

Domination is therefore a fantasy and one that will never go away because for men, who are natural born leaders. It is something they think they would perhaps like, but in reality don’t! No body enjoys being told what to do all the time… Fantasy Domination sessions are therefore here to stay to help vent that addiction. It also allows it to remain temporary by letting men live there life by there own rules and be dominated when they chose to be under veto!

Please feel free comment and share your opinion on the matter too, any insight is welcome

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11 replies
  1. Jon
    Jon says:

    An excellent article as always. As someone into the written word myself, I appreciate when it is done well. Your journalistic past shows (although some journalists, lets face it, are not particularly good writers.) and if you ever get tired of throwing men around like rag dolls, a writing career definitely beckons. 🙂

    I have a strong theoretical interest in issues like this, being a trainee therapist and also my own personal perspective, being a man who is into dominant women.

    For me it is about balance. Dominance is VERY attractive. I find the idea of a shrinking violet, who will never challenge me or express an opinion, extremely unattractivem Maybe some men want a doormat but I’m certainly not one of them. While a woman with a strong body obviously does it for me, a strong mind is at least as attractive to me. A woman with strong opinions who is not afraid to express them, but can still hold mine, who is fiery and passionate, will almost always attract me. Yet it is when it crosses the line into agression and/or arrogance that it becomes problematic.

    For example, at the risk of getting political, Margaret Thatcher was a dominant woman, but she was all the wrong kinds of dominant. Her dominance was not tempered with any of the gentler qualities that one identifies with womanhood; warmth , empathy, compassion, motherliness etc . That is the type of woman who crosses the line. They say some men like a bitch, but I doubt that is a high number.

    My dream woman would be a woman who, yes, you’ve guessed it, can dominate me physically and sexually, but also who is intelligent, articulate , strong willed, passionate and fiery. However, they should also possess the basic tenets of womanhood that I outlined earlier. They also must be able to respect my independence, intelligence, opinions, dignity and integrity, because Trust me, my submissive nature doesn’t stretch too far beyond the wrestling mat 🙂

    That is why I think a lot of us find domination wrestling sessions so great, because it satisfies our urge to be dominated by a woman in a (relatively ) safe and controlled environment. However it is no coincidence that in positive session reviews you will almost always see reference to the woman being warm, sweet, funny etc. Trust me, that stuff matters. Where the woman has a reputation for being cold, mechanical and unnecessarily cruel, I imagine repeat visits are rare and positive reviews virtually non-existent. None of us are under any illusions, we are aware that a session is a business transaction but that doesn’t mean we want to be treated with disdain and disrespect. The male mind, much like the female mind, is complex. We need to experience love, tenderness, validation, warmth, but, every now and then we need to be shown who’s boss too. 🙂
    Of course this is just my view.

    • sara
      sara says:

      Aww, thank you so much for your comment Jon, i did receive your email also! I think you hit the nail on the head when you said “balance”. It definitely is all about this and is a mind blowing topic when you look into it. The more I learn from my own experiences I feel it is an intense connection, one of which is compelling, captivating and not addictive but more a spell where men can’t but help let themselves go. All things you have mentioned such as articulate, intelligent and that I believe naturally strong women are, and the strong women in life are sweet and compassionate as they do not feel themselves as at threat. This I suppose is what the attraction is confidence and then on the other hand something which is different from being dominant, independence. It is only when the cracks appear that those deemed strong become weak and flaws such as aggression and anger show. All factors which are definitely not features of a true strong women at heart and therefore not attractive. I hope that makes sense. just my two pennies worth!

  2. Anthony
    Anthony says:

    Aye i agree balance really is key, even if i was with that one domme who was inti everything i was in etc etc basically like woman of my dreams i guess? But was basically like do what i tell you 24/7 it just wouldnt be worth it. Sexually i am very very submissive but i have quite a few hobbies that one wouldn’t usually alighn with a submissive and if i wasnt able to enjoy them then a big part of whst i enjoy from life would be gone and frankly that sounds far to depressing

    • sara
      sara says:

      Hi Anthony,

      Thank you for agreeing and sharing your own train of thought/experience. I was always told it is good to argue, as arguing shows passion. Not outrageous arguments, but those perhaps where you agree to disagree, if everyone got on in the world or did what they were told. It would be a very boring world! Of course it is nice to be submissive, but as you say some men sometimes have to be dominant in their hobbies or jobs and likewise a women may be submissive, but have to be dominant as a mother… Its a complex world I guess!

      Many Thanks Again for your comment

      S xx

  3. Johnny Ringo
    Johnny Ringo says:

    Pretty good stuff here Sara, you seem to be way more advanced on this than most ladies in the industry.

    I’m the type of of person that makes decisions all the time. That’s why I like a dominant woman. It’s nice to have someone else make decisions, when most women are almost always wanting me to make decisions for them.

    It is, as my girlfriend learned, largely a fantasy.

    In real life, I would not put up with a dominant’s drama, and would soft next her so quick she wouldn’t know what hit her.

    Ladies that have worked for our company who exist in this category did not last long either. Like low level alphas, they are full of rules and demands.

    Sexually, I love a dominant woman who can earn it through defeating another woman on the mats, or it can even be a bit sapiosexual when she shows she can hang from an intelligence standpoint.

    However, what I truly love is an Independent women. These women are super rare. Most dominant women “think” they are independent, but nothing could be further from the truth.

    • Sara
      Sara says:

      Hi Johnny,

      Many thanks for your kind comment, your comments prove that not not all submissive men are submissive in real life and give reason as to why BDSM, kink or whatever you like to call it will always have a place in this world. I completely get where you are coming from too on the independent women vs dominant and have read some fascinating blog posts on the topic written by men lol, unfortunately many dominate women think they are independent, once you have realized the two are completely different within their own right, you can only but laugh, roll your eyes and move on !

      Thanks for your input

      Sara x

  4. Dynamics
    Dynamics says:

    I think this is a great Article and very interesting but in my experience it differs, as an extremely dominate male in all areas of my life to which I exercise complete control this can be very exhausting and the attraction towards dominate females stem from this need to fulfil that controlled life to share an existence with someone who can in-fact hold a presence and sustain one in the relationship in which you have. I believe men need boundaries and rules to live a fulfilled life and a little trip through history may show a pattern of this as the saying “Happy Wife, Happy Life” is not an undermining attempt but more so an advancement to this need to be told what to do….

    Everyman need control and to be controlled in this way. Dominance in relationships and sexual aspects from a female is one of the most attractive qualities I have ever witnessed.

  5. Brian Womelsdorf
    Brian Womelsdorf says:

    When i was in my early teens i was blackmailed and dominated by my stepsister who is 1 year younger than me. She had some rules for me and would punish me severely if i broke them, usually it was a spanking with a wire coat hanger. I would pick on her sometimes if i felt the need to be put in my place. I didn’t really enjoy the pain that much, what i really like was the real fear of what would happen if she decided to punish me. It was the emotional part of the dominance that i liked thd most, particularly the times when i felt she was being unreasonable. Sometimes she would make me mad with her demands, but i submitted because she would beat the anger out of me and bend my will to hers. So, i guess everyone is different, because the bitchiness was my favorite part.

    • Sara
      Sara says:

      Hi Brian, personally for some of us, events that have happened when we are young and impressionable have attendancy to mould our fantasies or fetishes. It’s what separates us from each other and makes each person unique in their own way. I think more people are learning to embrace and accept their fantasies, not as something wrong, but as part of them. S x

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