The heart is a muscle that pumps life-giving blood throughout our bodies. Today, I ask what it takes to satisfy the male heart. A touchy subject at times, but the heart has been used for thousands of years to describe the core of who we are, what we feel and the real us! Due to this predetermination, we often hear many question if some human beings even bear a heart. We have all have heard of the term heartless.

Lately I have been thinking about writing on the male heart, however how to approach it I was not sure. I had a brain wave today though and am feeling in the mood to write as I sit on my flight to Cork, to commence my Ireland tour.

male heartThe male heart is the central command for all thoughts, beliefs, desires, affections, conscience, convictions, emotions and motives. And, just like our physical heart, which has four chambers it needs to be consistently filled with life-giving blood and also has four emotional chambers that need to be filled.

These are validation, respect, loyalty, and trust. And I believe it could be argued that the attraction of submissive to dominate women is because there lives may at times lack this; and it is a way to act out these validations in real life! Whether this be to their mistress, lover, pro dome etc.

Satisfying the male heart REVEALED

Validate reflects value, worthiness and manliness.

Men want to be validated by their father. They often want their dad to bless them, approve them and value them for who they are. And not for what they do or don’t do… Personality over performance is vital in validation.

Men also want validation from their wives/ partners for when they use or shine their talents to be taken notice of. If only women breathed life into the man in their life by saying things like, “You did a great job” or “I was so impressed by x,y,z…” But as you know, us females can be hard to please! This is why I believe sometimes guys love to be submissive. As by being submissive, they get to selflessly seek out validation through acts to their desired dom.

Closely linked is also the feeling of being wanted. Yes, men naturally like sex, they are hunter gathers after all…but men also want to be wanted. Sex with an emotionally uninvolved or reluctant wife, who only accommodates her husband to keep him “satisfied,” will never be enough. A man needs to know that his wife wants and desires him. This again can be argued as a reason, as to why men LOVE domination. There is no better way of feeling wanted! The connection is real and like having someone say to you “you are the best ever” or giving you a high five! Fem- Dom role-plays can therefore create confidence building and spill over to a confident man in other areas of his life. A WIN-WIN for femdom role-play scenarios then J

Respect to judgments, decisions, and abilities.

Men need women to value and trust their opinions and decisions, even if they do prove to be wrong at times! I am sure if you were to ask a woman, the majority will have experienced being lost in a car, with a man at some stage in their life! Again, due to their stubbornness in not asking for directions! God, it is so annoying when they are wrong at times, but it does not mean for is to question every decision men make, That means not constantly questioning knowledge such as “Why do you say that?” I am a guilty culprit and do it all the time… it’s a female thing I guess. We are all so bloody patronizing at times. My naturally investigative side from journalism sometimes doesn’t help either lol

Respect should also be paid and remembered for abilities. They do not want to hear “You can’t fix that, I’ll call an expert.” No guy wants to be shot down before even given the chance. Domination eliminates this questioning as you are told what to do, there is no shooting down before trying- only during perhaps!


support at all times

I believe men want to know that you are on their side. A kick buddy and someone they know that if they fondle you, that you won’t penalize them, but will pick the ball up and run with him. Men want to know that you are with all the way, through the good and bad times, and that you’ve always got his back.


Trust him and show him he can always trust you

Trust is a funny thing in that it must be earned. If over a period of time, a husband has earned his wife’s trust, then she should fully trust him unless there is a breach of trust. When a women trusts the man in her life, she should always have confidence that he is who he says he is. This means you should be the real deal, honest, action worthy, faithful and always has her best interests at heart.

Back in the golden era of female bodybuilding, there was only one category you could compete in i.e. that of Bodybuilding! Today on the other hand, the categories are few and far between for physique competitors…

What is iconic however is that what started out as female bodybuilding is now declining in numbers and moving towards a culture of bikini, fitness and figure competing. John Romano in his article “The Death of Women’s Bodybuilding” puts the decline of Female Bodybuilding down to “Man Face.” I ask whether or not this is true or perhaps social standards the culprit of fitness competitions today?

While there is plenty of room to compete in whichever category you feel appropriate – bikini, figure, fitness, athletic, physique etc. There does seem to be a degree of sexism in regards to how jacked you can be if a lady.

The most potent example of this being the infamous drop of Ms. Olympia from bodybuilding altogether in 2015. As well as the “20 percent rule” by IFBB in 2005, which basically asked all female bodybuilders to tone it down a bit…

John Romano in his article, calls it “Sucked out, drawn in, sunken eyes, veins in their foreheads, sharply angled jawline, a bigger nose, and a general coarseness to their dark orange skin that makes an oil tanker’s mooring rope look silky — kinda the way their voices sound too.”

John Romano remarks are harsh. My own personal opinion however is that, today things have been taken to the extreme subsequently damaging bodybuilding for the sport it once was. This is not just in female bodybuilding but men’s also. The amount of categories you can choose from to compete in demonstrates this. Extremes are never a good thing, politics even tells us this.

Today, bodybuilding no longer resembles that of what it once was, in the days of Frank Zane and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Stuck in a culture of “the bigger the better” and the use of steroids in killer amounts to manipulate the body to new levels never seen before…Gone are the days of symmetry


Bodybuilding is not nor ever was meant to be a beauty contest but rather based on symmetry, muscle mass, definition and the ability to show of the body at its best. You could say a form of human art.

Competitors develop posing routines and hold these multiple times on stage against fellow competitors. While muscle size, shape, and symmetry are pivotal to winning, the posing routine is a vital element. You could have the best body on stage perhaps but miss out, as you are not able to show it off the best.

Finesse is therefore definitely needed and it is well know that some of the top bodybuilders out there used ballet teachers to help them structure transitions for in-between poses. As well as the effort that goes into composing posing routines, the physical demand should also be remembered. Athletes are also on stage dehydrated when breaking a sweat tensing up! There really should be appreciation for bodybuilders and their evolution from weightlifting, hard word and dedication to on stage. It certainly is a sport in its own right and one based on individual achievement

Concernedly, beauty however started to become the central issue though. As the women kept getting bigger the more apparent it became. The media even jumped on board. This is when terms such as “she looks like a man” starting hitting the headlines hence social norms set. Unfortunately, as a result the female bodybuilding division took brunt in decline of popularity due to this social ridicule.

Steroids have always been a touchy subject and likewise muscle on females. Society did not respond the right way and even though the men of the bodybuilding world where getting bigger also and so created the windy road to bikini, fitness and figure competing sport. The new socially accepted categories and a sad day for females of bodybuilding.

The twenty percent rule, which required all competitors to cut back muscle size, is a representation of this. A less muscular woman in their view would make a more acceptable female bodybuilder. There could be question as to whether the ask was sexist.

While performance enhancing drug use is prevalent in sports, when done by women it the extra complications are more prevalent. Men use them but are accepted, as it is their hormone. For women however it is tabooed. It is not even spoke of and could be argued one of the reasons for poor drug choices by women at times, due to bad advice by a male partner etc. perhaps. The main concern with steroids is appearance. Unfortunately with women, sometimes a boundary can be overstepped which cannot be taken back, leaving them with permanent vitalization side effects such as hair growth or a cracked voice. Everyone reacts different and sometimes the risk may not be worth it.

How strong the compound is determines the risk of side effect. Female bodybuilding should not however be looked down upon due to their use of steroids. Yes, it may be a more heavier use but it does not mean to say it is not used by bikini, fitness and figure competitors on a lower level. It is just more accepted because they aren’t as muscly with in your face side effects. The steroid use can even be brushed under the carpet if needs be…


female bodybuildingBodybuilding primarily survives on being connected to the fitness industry through supplement companies, exercise equipment, and magazine publishing. Sex sells and for me I believe this is why female bodybuilding has moved towards being “fit”, “toned” and “healthy. Society has not yet accepted muscular women and until they do it will never be openly promoted. A magazine will not sell or make profit from a non-social standard.

This is what I believe determines the future of female bodybuilding. Girls have shifted to competing in bikini, fitness and figure, as this is what is appealing and makes money. Supplement companies etc. will not want to sign you up unfortunately if you are too muscly, leaving female bodybuilding unappealing and perhaps not even an option to make a living at.

My only wish is that if bodybuilding could go back the era of 1970 when judging was based on the evolution of the body and immune to societal standards. Drug use would not be so excessive and more about good training and a healthy diet to lean out. The degree and pursuit of muscularity today has unfortunately has created a facial and physical image no longer appealing to enough of an audience to support- caused by the distorted looks from extremes.

Portraying women as sex objects continues to be more profitable to companies. Portraying women, as accomplished athletes does not make money. Beauty has different meanings to people and aesthetics have changed dramatically throughout the evolution of bodybuilding. Some prefer the larger muscular body; others prefer a moderate mid-range physique middleweight. Society has set the standard for a “toned” appearance.

The new fitness fad of “strong is the new skinny” may seem like it is accepting muscularity, by promoting women to participate in strength training. The reassurance that you will not become too muscly if you lift weights tells us the other…

Women with power are viewed as unfeminine or unattractive and unacceptable to the majority of society. Again politics even tells us this as it is harder for women to get in office, Sarah Payne, Margaret Thatcher and Hilary Clinton all prime examples.

The fact is a woman of a certain physical size will not be accepted by the mainstream. They could have the most pretty and full faces, but will be repudiated. In society there is a general consensus of what we find attractive and acceptable. It is these social standards that create what an audience of female bodybuilding is willing to support. A woman may be considered attractive, but because she conflicts with traditional gender roles not so.

The idea that a woman could challenge a man on a physical level is unsettling to some. Often also men who feel threatened by women’s advancement in society, may feel that the physical domain is the only area they have left. Female bodybuilders and women in sports challenge this.


Sadly, the general public never supported female bodybuilding and the fitness industry never supported women as athletes. Instead it is in a culture sex sells Instagram with its soft porn could even be argued to be the playboy of today. Until social standards are shook female bodybuilding will remain in a culture of bikini, fitness and figure competing.

As many of you already know, in my everyday life I prefer to be the “sweet, shy and submissive Sara”. Cruising through life in the back seat, I can certainly say I do not like to be in the spotlight and am a true introvert at heart. Then there is my other side My Alter Ego.

A strong and dominant alpha female first and foremost. You are probably wandering what I am trying to get at here but what I am trying to emphasize is that, there are times in our lives we may have to be someone we are not naturally inclined to be. Whether this be due to our job or a certain roleplay, but can still pretty damn good at it. My reason for this belief is due to a thing called alter egos.

My Alter Ego is called “Princess Pain”, I am sure you have heard me mention her by now. She is my inner wrestling dominatrix, meanie, badass Sara. She helps me become the character all you men dream of. In fact you will find most superstars have alter egos such as Beyoncé, Sasha Fierce, The Rock, and many great actors such as the late Robin Williams, who was a true introvert at heart.

An alter ego (Latin, “the other I”) is a second self, which is believed to be distinct from a person’s normal or original personality. A person who has an alter ego is said to lead a double life. Wikipedia

It is therefore not uncommon, but an ingenious way of transforming a person from who they are into who they need to be. Many people fall in love with the actors, athletes or persons alter ego, but do they ever really know the real person underneath.

So let me introduce you “Princess Pain” and what I vision her to look like in my head for any of you who wander what she may be like.

My Alter EgoShe is…


With a serious stern look to the face, Princess Pain is one Wrestler you do not want to mess with.


Princess Pain loves to show off her strength, muscular and athletic physique by flexing and posing, as demonstrated by her cheeky bicep pose.


Many people think that girls who lift become too muscular and masculine. I want to prove that you can be strong yet sexy, with curves in all the right places for any little black dress!

So. what are your thoughts on my Alter Ego “Princess Pain”?

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In this article, “Why are men attracted to Dominant Women” I am going to discuss MY thoughts as to why men are attracted to dominant women. I am not referring to wrestlers or strong women but the personality element of Domination.

All women are different through and through, however you men may beg to differ…perhaps a few scorned ones!

Generally speaking the types of women that exist are Submissive, Dominant and the Self Sufficient aka. I Don’t Give a Fuck. Characteristics may prevail from each type however they primarily will favor one type.

The reason you have found yourself on my site and reading this blog post, already demonstrates that you too are intrigued or perhaps thrilled by these women. So I hope I nail this on the head! Here it is…

“ Real relationships in real life with overly dominant women do not work! “

Alpha Female & Alpha Male = Failure

Mr. Nice Guy & Dominant Female = Misery and Monogamy

Now, I am not saying that this is entirely the case as every relationship is different but you get what I mean. You see dominant females are the female equivalent to needy alpha males who set the boundaries in life. A real and true dominant person in real life you see will often have a tendency to be bossy and know how to make life hell! Once in a relationship these women tend to start issuing orders, standards and the rules she expects you her man to follow. And boy, if these rules are not attained to does she get pissed!

The result of failure to follow these is DRAMA and we all know how much you guys love that, NOT! This sometimes resorts in the monogamy Mr. Nice Guy route of ”anything for an easy life”. Dominants will tend to be high- drama, high maintenance and inflict high stress levels on you!

By now, I have probably put you off dominants forever however they do have some positive traits.

Dominant Women are often,

Very Smart

What manipulators aren’t?


Strong people always allure sexual appeal, even the most unattractive women!


It’s nature, because it’s something you want but can’t always have for your own sanity reasons!

So, what I am saying is that the men that often fall for fun, feminine Dominants do so only to get in return drama and rules. Which ultimately ends in the man running away as far as he bloody well can!

Domination is therefore a fantasy and one that will never go away because for men, who are natural born leaders. It is something they think they would perhaps like, but in reality don’t! No body enjoys being told what to do all the time… Fantasy Domination sessions are therefore here to stay to help vent that addiction. It also allows it to remain temporary by letting men live there life by there own rules and be dominated when they chose to be under veto!

Please feel free comment and share your opinion on the matter too, any insight is welcome

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It is often presumed that the submissive of society are weak, unable to make decisions for themselves and have to rely on others. But, are submissive men weak ?  The perception of being a male submissive is worse again, if only I can but udder the words “DOORMAT!” Admit it, we all have heard it too often…. However we know that for a relationship to survive, one person must be more dominant on some level.

Could you imagine what life would be like if both were submissive and tasks like – who chooses where you would like to go for coffee became a chore? Here, I address the issue of submissiveness and strength and voice my opinion on the matter.

Are Submissive Men Weak ?

Are submissive men weakBreaking the social Norm

Being submissive doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be “submissive” all of the time though. For instance, quite a lot of men who enjoy being submissive in sexual acts hold powerful jobs or roles in society, as well as those men who are physically strong also… Being submissive I feel can be that “VENT TO ESCAPE” from the real world of expectations and a way for strong men to feel REAL FEAR!

Sometimes we just want to be weak

Surely you can relate and say at one point in your life you have maybe thought, “ I want a break from parenting. I want a break from being the boss.” Which really translates to “I want a break from being strong.” Instead of leading, you would rather be led. You don’t want to have to always worry about the consequences of decisions or actions. And instead, you would just like to feel secure in a set of rules or instructions you know you have to follow. Less thinking, more doing and before you know it you are in cloud 9! Hello relation mode.

It helps us build trust

In order to act as a true submissive, this involves you to give up all of your control and hand it over to someone else. FULLY! Surely this deserves a metal, RIGHT? After all we don’t know what the hell this person is going to do to us never mind capable of. For instance, they may wish to kick you in the balls and any guy I ask says this is the worst feeling in the world!!! An applaud must be given though to the level of exposure both physically and emotionally one leaves themselves to. Especially those men who let me trample them, I’m surprised I don’t break their ribs, yet they LOVE IT! If that doesn’t take balls, I don’t know what does.

Submissiveness is generally temporary

You must understand, most men are not fully submissive. If they were a so-called “doormat” of society, it would make for a rather needy partner… Which despite their obedience a dominant wife would become bored of after a while. For this reason, I believe men enjoy their moments of weakness for they do not last long before the demands of the relationship or life, require us to step back into action and be strong again!

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S x

Welcome to my first blog post on why men find strong women sexy. What an exciting post it is! It wouldn’t be like me, if I didn’t live life by the edge and touch on a controversial subject “Muscle Worshipers and Female Wrestling Fans” to start. Culprits you know who you are!

What is the definition of a strong women?

A strong woman refers to either a woman performing feats of strength in a show or circus, or a woman who competes in strength athletics. Traditionally, strong women have had a special appeal, as women involved in demonstrated feats of strength were exceptions. Wikipedia

I myself am a strong women who is not afraid to use a barbell, however, I would not class myself as a bodybuilder. Far from it… I am aware that I have a more muscular frame than the so-called “norm” of society however, but who likes normal. And with this perception of muscularity comes strength. The amount of sheer emails I receive day by day by men who are amazed at my physique or muscles demonstrate this.

They often read like “what size are you biceps?” Never mind outlaying what they would actually like me to do to them…Scissoring, Smothering to the point of KO or even Arm Wrestling. Jeeze what guy on earth wouldn’t want to wrestle Ronda Rousey though? Just kidding, she’s a beast!

Men have a submissive side

The majority of men I met, well, 99 percent of them want to be my weakling, submissive, or rather bitch…So what is it has you men hypnotized by us amazon girls?

I will admit before putting my pen to paper, I did troll through the internet hoping to find an answer, I cant say it was easy and in fact most forums tabooed the whole thing writing men off attracted to female bodybuilders or muscular women as confused about their sexuality or rather Homosexual. Who was I to know? LOL I do not think this is the case however…

Below, I lay out three resounding factors I believe to be why men love us strong, muscular alpha females and the feeling of being over empowered.

Why men find strong women sexy


As I mentioned earlier, 99 percent of the men I receive enquiries from secretly desire to be overpowered and dominated in the presence of a strong amazon women, yet still feel safe in our submission. Often I ask, why these grown men want to roll around on the mats with me and let me pin them down or squeeze them as hard as I can with my thighs to the point it crushes every bone in their body. Further, they do not have to be beaten into this submission and will openly admit they want to lose badly or feel weak in my presence before we even meet.

I believe the reason for there willingness to submit is CONNECTION. The time I spend smothering my ass in their face, filling their lungs to max capacity, to the point they cannot breathe is because I have control. I control when they can gasp for air. I control when they breathe. It is within these select moments you receive an unbelievable feeling of connection to me.


Yes guys you read that correct! It may seem to you that your desire to be at my whim is to make me feel dominant, strong and incredibly turned on by it without you being in the spotlight or receiving attention, but this is exactly what you are doing. Placing yourself in the SPOTLIGHT and settling for NEGATIVE ATTENTION! Sadistic I know but, I believe you are the kind of men who really want you us women to tease and deny you your alpha male role by practicing our power and dominance over you. This is what you crave and essentially what you lure us alpha females into exercising by making us think we actually are superior.


It has always been the social norm of society that men should be the “alpha male, breadwinner and decision maker of the family”, for some this can prove over bearing. How are men meant to know our expectations if we do not give order? Men that crave strong women I believe crave structure and finesse in life. They love having a sense of satisfaction to achieve and if they do not meet this, will take the punishment. I guess if we think about it, wouldn’t life be so much easier if we could make up for our consequences by having a set of rules to obey?

Role play is the chance to escape from the real world and utilize role reversal to break these norms. It gives us a chance to show fear, relief from cultural pressures, satisfaction and accomplishment from the tasks performed or punishment received.

Can you relate? Do you think I am right or wrong? Please feel free to comment below

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