Today, we take an in depth look at the topic of Chemistry vs Attraction. It is usually presumed that both of these predeterminers, is needed to form a successful relationship. The confusion many people face, however, in trying to  understand the difference between the two, is often fascinating.

Chemistry vs Attraction

Attraction – Attraction is achieved when a woman is:

A) turned on by you at least to some degree and

B) feels somewhat safe with you.

Whether or not a women feels safe with you is based solely on your behaviour during dates or a session. It is important to remember that there is a fine line between coming across as horny vs. being sexual. Often you will see men comment on forums, about how you’re YMMV, an abbreviation for your mileage may vary. Meaning, what a session girl allows in a session is usually dependant on she feels on the day during your encounter. Attraction can play a part in this.

Women generally do understand how men can become extremely horny, as they possess higher sex drives. Beware however; as they will not be extremely supportive of this and always opt for the more sexual guys. This is because being horny is threatening and a turn-off. Being sexual is attractive and safe.

Whether or not she feels attracted to you, will depend on how well you rank against that number based on your appearance and behaviour she has set in her head.

Attraction isn’t very complicated. If she likes you and feels at least somewhat safe, you’re in.


Chemistry, chemistry, chemistry … this sounds pretties much the same as attraction, however it is a whole different ball game! Chemistry is actually quite complicated and delicate. Remember this is why many men fail to make it past the first date!

Attraction, which we have already discussed, is the combination of being turned on and feeling safe.

Chemistry however is the combination of attraction and compliance to a predetermined checklist.

Attraction is an important key component of chemistry. After all, the lady in question does have to be attracted to you. However, once she’s attracted to you, she will need another layer of complexity. This specifically applies to older women as opposed to younger women, who you will find do not care just so much.

Chemistry is a checklist of qualities, the lady in question has preselected for her ideal boyfriend or husband.

So, how do I make chemistry? You don’t have to actually say something to violate a chemistry-seeker’s checklist. It’s very easy to destroy chemistry non verbally. Maybe you have a habit of breathing heavy, or making an annoying noise whilst chewing your food. Maybe the way you dress isn’t what she would visualize her ideal future boyfriend/husband wearing. So even if you carefully control everything you say during a first date, you can easily violate a woman’s checklist and make chemistry impossible.

Why did she not text back?

If you have ever been on a first date and text a women, who did not responded. If her girlfriend asked her about the date, she probably would have said something like this, “He is a nice guy but there just “wasn’t any chemistry.”

It’s not that she wasn’t attracted to you. She was! Unfortunately, you just simply violated a few items on her list, eliminating the feminine concept of “chemistry.”

The lesson to be learnt is therefore, not to get too hung up on chemistry!

Make it past the First Date!

Attraction is directly within your control. You have vast control over your physical appearance, your fashion, and how you behave on a first or second date. Of course you can’t have sex with any woman you want. However, by controlling these three variables, you can create attraction with a much higher percentage of women you meet

Chemistry, however, isn’t really within your realm of control. Since attraction is 50% of chemistry, you can improve your odds of chemistry a little by ensuring attraction more often. The problem is created because you don’t know the exact checklist of that woman sitting next to you at the bar or across from you on a first date.

The only way to ensure you create chemistry with a new woman is to extract a copy of her checklist from her brain, memorize it, and then make sure you do not say or do anything that violates anything her list.

I hope you enjoyed, if you enjoy my blog posts please feel free to subscribe to my blog and leave any comments you think are worth sharing.

Today, we ask the question, can independent women be successful in love ? Often know for being hard, cold and unapproachable. At a first glance we would think not. So, what is this main reason for their unsuccessfulness in love?


Attitude is often the biggest problem independent women face in relationships. Being perceived as cold can pose a problem but remember that being perceived as powerful and strong can often be deemed an attractive property and perhaps even play a factor as to how these women get themselves into a relationship.

Once a relationship, if extremely independent the continue to live there lives as they would do so when single, this can pose a problem. This is often how cracks start to appear in the relationship.

Can independent women be successful in love ?

In life there are three types of women in regards to independence!


This is the weakest kind of women; she will need absolutely everything done for her in life. A drainer perhaps, she will sound something like “I don’t know how to, I can’t do that, help me…” These kinds of women are not very independent at all.


These types of women are quite the opposite to that of the “princesses” in life. In fact, these won’t even ask for any kind of help.. These type of women are usually very independent hence the name and anything they say will usually resemble something like this – “ I can do it myself.”

This is when having an ultra independent attitude in a relationship can create problems. You are probably thinking, now this is not a bad way to be, self sufficient, un-needy etc. But ask yourself, if this women says, “I can do it myself” enough to her other half or perhaps a guy when she is starting out dating, would this cause a problem?

Of, course!

This is because guys need to feel masculine. No strong guy is going to want to be around a woman who never lets him take care of her. It’s almost the equivalent of cutting their balls off.

Fair enough, these women argue “I can do it myself”, but what if it was said that it is weak to have to do everything yourself. And further, that it is a method of validation having to prove how strong you are.

If you find yourself in this category for women, ask yourself what kind of man do you want to attract? Most will often say masculine, however admit they unfortunately attract the weaker kind of pussy men in life! Perhaps this is why.


And so the final kind of women, which is one level above being an “Ultra Independent” is the one who says “I know I can do it myself, but I know it’s a lot of fun if I can have someone else do it for me.”

This is the only kind of independent woman, who can survive in a relationship. Why Is this? It is because she understands. She gets it. It is strong to be served.

The Best CEO’s in life know how to utilize help. Those who cannot get past being able to give over power will never be able to grow their business or get past being an entrepreneur. This stands for relationships too.

It does not make a woman strong if she keeps men at arms length because she doesn’t need them – men need women and women need men, it’s as simple as that, life just isn’t as fun without them. Yes, we understand women don’t need men for happiness etc. A woman however should be sure to bring her man into her life – as they can’t have nearly as much fun, if they can’t be a man around you!

Strong women do not need to exert their ultra independence. They can accept help. Why? Because, when you are already independent you are showing that you are in the relationship because you want to be with the person, not because you need to be with them.

Allow yourself to be the vulnerable one in the relationship as you will always be strong enough to get through. Which is funny because come to thing of it, do dominatrix’s not allow men serve them?

I hope you enjoyed reading my article, if you have any comments, please share in the comment box below. Remember to check out any upcoming tours