The heart is a muscle that pumps life-giving blood throughout our bodies. Today, I ask what it takes to satisfy the male heart. A touchy subject at times, but the heart has been used for thousands of years to describe the core of who we are, what we feel and the real us! Due to this predetermination, we often hear many question if some human beings even bear a heart. We have all have heard of the term heartless.

Lately I have been thinking about writing on the male heart, however how to approach it I was not sure. I had a brain wave today though and am feeling in the mood to write as I sit on my flight to Cork, to commence my Ireland tour.

male heartThe male heart is the central command for all thoughts, beliefs, desires, affections, conscience, convictions, emotions and motives. And, just like our physical heart, which has four chambers it needs to be consistently filled with life-giving blood and also has four emotional chambers that need to be filled.

These are validation, respect, loyalty, and trust. And I believe it could be argued that the attraction of submissive to dominate women is because there lives may at times lack this; and it is a way to act out these validations in real life! Whether this be to their mistress, lover, pro dome etc.

Satisfying the male heart REVEALED

Validate reflects value, worthiness and manliness.

Men want to be validated by their father. They often want their dad to bless them, approve them and value them for who they are. And not for what they do or don’t do… Personality over performance is vital in validation.

Men also want validation from their wives/ partners for when they use or shine their talents to be taken notice of. If only women breathed life into the man in their life by saying things like, “You did a great job” or “I was so impressed by x,y,z…” But as you know, us females can be hard to please! This is why I believe sometimes guys love to be submissive. As by being submissive, they get to selflessly seek out validation through acts to their desired dom.

Closely linked is also the feeling of being wanted. Yes, men naturally like sex, they are hunter gathers after all…but men also want to be wanted. Sex with an emotionally uninvolved or reluctant wife, who only accommodates her husband to keep him “satisfied,” will never be enough. A man needs to know that his wife wants and desires him. This again can be argued as a reason, as to why men LOVE domination. There is no better way of feeling wanted! The connection is real and like having someone say to you “you are the best ever” or giving you a high five! Fem- Dom role-plays can therefore create confidence building and spill over to a confident man in other areas of his life. A WIN-WIN for femdom role-play scenarios then J

Respect to judgments, decisions, and abilities.

Men need women to value and trust their opinions and decisions, even if they do prove to be wrong at times! I am sure if you were to ask a woman, the majority will have experienced being lost in a car, with a man at some stage in their life! Again, due to their stubbornness in not asking for directions! God, it is so annoying when they are wrong at times, but it does not mean for is to question every decision men make, That means not constantly questioning knowledge such as “Why do you say that?” I am a guilty culprit and do it all the time… it’s a female thing I guess. We are all so bloody patronizing at times. My naturally investigative side from journalism sometimes doesn’t help either lol

Respect should also be paid and remembered for abilities. They do not want to hear “You can’t fix that, I’ll call an expert.” No guy wants to be shot down before even given the chance. Domination eliminates this questioning as you are told what to do, there is no shooting down before trying- only during perhaps!

Loyalty

support at all times

I believe men want to know that you are on their side. A kick buddy and someone they know that if they fondle you, that you won’t penalize them, but will pick the ball up and run with him. Men want to know that you are with all the way, through the good and bad times, and that you’ve always got his back.

Trust

Trust him and show him he can always trust you

Trust is a funny thing in that it must be earned. If over a period of time, a husband has earned his wife’s trust, then she should fully trust him unless there is a breach of trust. When a women trusts the man in her life, she should always have confidence that he is who he says he is. This means you should be the real deal, honest, action worthy, faithful and always has her best interests at heart.

Back in the golden era of female bodybuilding, there was only one category you could compete in i.e. that of Bodybuilding! Today on the other hand, the categories are few and far between for physique competitors…

What is iconic however is that what started out as female bodybuilding is now declining in numbers and moving towards a culture of bikini, fitness and figure competing. John Romano in his article “The Death of Women’s Bodybuilding” puts the decline of Female Bodybuilding down to “Man Face.” I ask whether or not this is true or perhaps social standards the culprit of fitness competitions today?

While there is plenty of room to compete in whichever category you feel appropriate – bikini, figure, fitness, athletic, physique etc. There does seem to be a degree of sexism in regards to how jacked you can be if a lady.

The most potent example of this being the infamous drop of Ms. Olympia from bodybuilding altogether in 2015. As well as the “20 percent rule” by IFBB in 2005, which basically asked all female bodybuilders to tone it down a bit…

John Romano in his article, calls it “Sucked out, drawn in, sunken eyes, veins in their foreheads, sharply angled jawline, a bigger nose, and a general coarseness to their dark orange skin that makes an oil tanker’s mooring rope look silky — kinda the way their voices sound too.”

John Romano remarks are harsh. My own personal opinion however is that, today things have been taken to the extreme subsequently damaging bodybuilding for the sport it once was. This is not just in female bodybuilding but men’s also. The amount of categories you can choose from to compete in demonstrates this. Extremes are never a good thing, politics even tells us this.

Today, bodybuilding no longer resembles that of what it once was, in the days of Frank Zane and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Stuck in a culture of “the bigger the better” and the use of steroids in killer amounts to manipulate the body to new levels never seen before…Gone are the days of symmetry

FEMALE BODYBUILDING: FROM BODYBUILDING TO FITNESS COMPETITOR

Bodybuilding is not nor ever was meant to be a beauty contest but rather based on symmetry, muscle mass, definition and the ability to show of the body at its best. You could say a form of human art.

Competitors develop posing routines and hold these multiple times on stage against fellow competitors. While muscle size, shape, and symmetry are pivotal to winning, the posing routine is a vital element. You could have the best body on stage perhaps but miss out, as you are not able to show it off the best.

Finesse is therefore definitely needed and it is well know that some of the top bodybuilders out there used ballet teachers to help them structure transitions for in-between poses. As well as the effort that goes into composing posing routines, the physical demand should also be remembered. Athletes are also on stage dehydrated when breaking a sweat tensing up! There really should be appreciation for bodybuilders and their evolution from weightlifting, hard word and dedication to on stage. It certainly is a sport in its own right and one based on individual achievement

Concernedly, beauty however started to become the central issue though. As the women kept getting bigger the more apparent it became. The media even jumped on board. This is when terms such as “she looks like a man” starting hitting the headlines hence social norms set. Unfortunately, as a result the female bodybuilding division took brunt in decline of popularity due to this social ridicule.

Steroids have always been a touchy subject and likewise muscle on females. Society did not respond the right way and even though the men of the bodybuilding world where getting bigger also and so created the windy road to bikini, fitness and figure competing sport. The new socially accepted categories and a sad day for females of bodybuilding.

The twenty percent rule, which required all competitors to cut back muscle size, is a representation of this. A less muscular woman in their view would make a more acceptable female bodybuilder. There could be question as to whether the ask was sexist.

While performance enhancing drug use is prevalent in sports, when done by women it the extra complications are more prevalent. Men use them but are accepted, as it is their hormone. For women however it is tabooed. It is not even spoke of and could be argued one of the reasons for poor drug choices by women at times, due to bad advice by a male partner etc. perhaps. The main concern with steroids is appearance. Unfortunately with women, sometimes a boundary can be overstepped which cannot be taken back, leaving them with permanent vitalization side effects such as hair growth or a cracked voice. Everyone reacts different and sometimes the risk may not be worth it.

How strong the compound is determines the risk of side effect. Female bodybuilding should not however be looked down upon due to their use of steroids. Yes, it may be a more heavier use but it does not mean to say it is not used by bikini, fitness and figure competitors on a lower level. It is just more accepted because they aren’t as muscly with in your face side effects. The steroid use can even be brushed under the carpet if needs be…

FEMALE BODYBUILDING: FEMININITY AND SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE

female bodybuildingBodybuilding primarily survives on being connected to the fitness industry through supplement companies, exercise equipment, and magazine publishing. Sex sells and for me I believe this is why female bodybuilding has moved towards being “fit”, “toned” and “healthy. Society has not yet accepted muscular women and until they do it will never be openly promoted. A magazine will not sell or make profit from a non-social standard.

This is what I believe determines the future of female bodybuilding. Girls have shifted to competing in bikini, fitness and figure, as this is what is appealing and makes money. Supplement companies etc. will not want to sign you up unfortunately if you are too muscly, leaving female bodybuilding unappealing and perhaps not even an option to make a living at.

My only wish is that if bodybuilding could go back the era of 1970 when judging was based on the evolution of the body and immune to societal standards. Drug use would not be so excessive and more about good training and a healthy diet to lean out. The degree and pursuit of muscularity today has unfortunately has created a facial and physical image no longer appealing to enough of an audience to support- caused by the distorted looks from extremes.

Portraying women as sex objects continues to be more profitable to companies. Portraying women, as accomplished athletes does not make money. Beauty has different meanings to people and aesthetics have changed dramatically throughout the evolution of bodybuilding. Some prefer the larger muscular body; others prefer a moderate mid-range physique middleweight. Society has set the standard for a “toned” appearance.

The new fitness fad of “strong is the new skinny” may seem like it is accepting muscularity, by promoting women to participate in strength training. The reassurance that you will not become too muscly if you lift weights tells us the other…

Women with power are viewed as unfeminine or unattractive and unacceptable to the majority of society. Again politics even tells us this as it is harder for women to get in office, Sarah Payne, Margaret Thatcher and Hilary Clinton all prime examples.

The fact is a woman of a certain physical size will not be accepted by the mainstream. They could have the most pretty and full faces, but will be repudiated. In society there is a general consensus of what we find attractive and acceptable. It is these social standards that create what an audience of female bodybuilding is willing to support. A woman may be considered attractive, but because she conflicts with traditional gender roles not so.

The idea that a woman could challenge a man on a physical level is unsettling to some. Often also men who feel threatened by women’s advancement in society, may feel that the physical domain is the only area they have left. Female bodybuilders and women in sports challenge this.

FEMALE BODYBUILDING: THE FUTURE

Sadly, the general public never supported female bodybuilding and the fitness industry never supported women as athletes. Instead it is in a culture sex sells Instagram with its soft porn could even be argued to be the playboy of today. Until social standards are shook female bodybuilding will remain in a culture of bikini, fitness and figure competing.